7 Hidden Beliefs that Cause us to Overeat

We may be aware that we’re using food for comfort; that we overeat or binge on food to release stress, to avoid negative feelings or to stem sadness. In addition, there may be other beliefs percolating below the surface, deep rooted beliefs that usually come out only when we’re trying to change our eating patterns.

Have any of these beliefs popped up for you? If so, good. Being conscious of them is the first step to changing them. (For more support, join our sisterhood to gain access to our courses on overcoming sugar addiction and overcoming binge eating.) Here are 7 hidden beliefs that cause us to overeat:

1. Using things for comfort. Food, activities and shopping are all forms of consumption, external ways of comforting ourselves. They’re easy, quick ways to find pleasure, now. We all need to eat, and there’s nothing wrong with using our money and time for our enjoyment. But we need to do so in a balanced manner, not compulsively, as a way of filling our needs for intimacy (love/connection with other people), stress relief (soothing anxiety), or comfort.

2. All or nothing thinking. We’re so overwhelmed by our excess weight and stuff that we don’t know where to begin. So we put off making changes (“I’ll start my diet on Monday”) indefinitely in the future. This keeps us from ever having to change, because we’re always starting tomorrow. It’s the same type of thinking that causes us to view slip-ups as opportunities to give up altogether. So when we overeat, we give ourselves permission to continue being “bad:”  as long as I ate ice cream I might as well eat a pan of brownies, too.

3. Not making choices. Life is not an all you can eat buffet:  we have a finite amount of time, energy and money. When we eat too much food for our bodies, our health, weight and self-esteem suffers. When we fill our time with too many activities, we aren’t able to enjoy them due to the stress of rushing and living at a breakneck speed. When we buy things we can’t afford or that we don’t have space for in our homes, money, a source of joy and pleasure, becomes a source of stress, worry and anxiety. Our homes turn from a place of renewal, comfort, and relaxation into a place of chaos and overwhelment.

4. Unrealistic Expectations. Caring for our bodies is an ongoing process:   not something we do once and then are “done.” These things take time, attention and intention. It takes effort to exercise; it takes discipline to eat healthy food; it takes planning to keep our homes stocked with fresh food. Expecting these things to happen without effort is magical thinking; an unrealistic expectation.

5. Lack of Respect for Change. We expect change to be quick, easy, and a one-time event. But instituting change takes time. When we expect instant success, we aren’t prepared for the pitfalls that come our way. Or we attempt change with grand expectations, only to lose motivation after a week. We resign ourselves to feelings of failure and inadequacy, settling for doing things the way we’ve always done them, even if our behaviors cause us pain and suffering.

6. Entitlement. We want what we want when we want it. In our instant gratification society, with easy access to credit, food, and entertainment, we’re able to easily satisfy these wants. Our appetites are unconstrained, whether for food, stuff, or fun. We buy things even when we don’t need them; we buy things when we don’t have the money; we eat food whether or not our bodies need it; we fill our bodies with junk that makes us sick. When we make poor choices, we are also choosing the consequences of those choices.

7. Lack of Planning. What is your vision for your life? We usually operate on autopilot, trying to keep the many plates in our lives spinning, instead of asking ourselves if this activity/thing fits with our values and vision. When we have a vision in place, the next step is to ask ourselves if we’re taking the necessary steps to get it. We may say we want a trim, toned body; that we want time to relax; that we want a life of radical self-care, but are we making the daily choices that give us those things?

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