Our desire to let down, to receive and to be cared for - rather than caring for others - is often what's underneath end of the day and nighttime overeating. Yesterday we had a Q&A webinar for a group class where the topic of 'I deserve a … [Read more]
“The tears that fill the holes where food usually goes”
Yesterday I met a delightful woman, and we sat in the quiet, sharing our food stories with each other. At some point, our conversation turned to grief. We began talking about the first layer of grief - the grief of letting go of overeating, of the … [Read more]
Moving from a ‘trigger’ to an opportunity – ‘how the light gets in’
When we're bombarded by waves of reactivity - such as cravings, impulses, a compulsion to overeat check out, overwork, overdo, or escape, or emotional triggers or upsets - everything in us can tighten up and say, "No." Our natural reaction is to … [Read more]
What does power have to do with your patterns with food?
In last week's newsletter, I wrote about how we can become polarized against ourselves - and how this protective stance can make it difficult for us to feel free to move forward and make positive changes in our lives. These inner polarizations can … [Read more]
How our inner polarizations keep us from moving forward
In a previous article, I talked about how we can feel worried that we're betraying our values if we ask ourselves to make changes or lose weight. This can be especially sticky if we value things like gentleness, compassion, tolerance, and … [Read more]
Helping the brain feel safe
As we begin the new year, we have plans and wishes, yearnings and hopes for growth, healing, relief, rest or change. It helps to remember that our brains have an impulse towards healing and growth. As soon as there's sufficient support or safety, … [Read more]
When something in you protests change
Something that shows up for nearly everyone who longs for healing with food is resistance. This might arise for you, too. While a part of you longs for change, growth, healing or relief from painful eating patterns, another place may resist these … [Read more]
Tracking the two different types of cravings
One of the topics that came up in the Soften a Sugar Habit with Presence, Compassion and Grief class this week is the nervous system, and the impact a dysregulated nervous system can have on our patterns with food. When our nervous systems feel … [Read more]
The big squeeze – when you ‘know’ better but can’t do better
One of the most painful parts of the healing journey is what Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön calls the 'big squeeze.' We feel the squeeze when we 'know better' – we have the tools, awareness about our wounds, and zest for growth – and yet our … [Read more]
When you use food to regulate your nervous system
This month a group has been going through When Food is Your Mother, our signature class. In this class we explore how food can serve as a substitute 'mother' that attunes to our needs, concerns, stressors, and anxieties. Food hears our pain, cares … [Read more]
Forgiving yourself for the mistakes that cause you to overeat
This year I've been a part of a monthly writing group where we meet to read poems, write, and know ourselves more deeply. Each month has a theme, and this month our theme was failure. You may have a variety of relationships with failure. They may … [Read more]
The tension between the longing to be known and the longing for protection
As human beings, we have a fundamental need to belong - to connect and interbe. We also have a need to be fully ourselves - to live and be all that we are. For many of us, these needs often come into conflict. We may feel caught in an either/or - … [Read more]
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