The most popular body image essay I’ve written was this piece on measuring your body in love. Do you look at your body through the eyes of the heart, or the eyes of the critic? It was a similar question I posed to an audience of women and teen girls, as speaker at a body image panel in La Jolla, California.
The body image panel was hosted by yoga apparel maker lululemon athletica and sponsored by the Jewish Women’s Foundation. I shared my story, which includes the insane goal of being forever the size I’d once been as a young teen — a size I’d only obtained with bulimia and starvation. I didn’t want to relinquish this goal because I thought the perfect body was the answer – that body that would make me happy and keep me safe from pain. After 15 years I slowly learned that our body’s flaws make us beautiful; our less than perfect parts are what we love about each other.
It wasn’t until I got quiet with this drive for physical body perfection that I was able to see it for what it was – my vulnerability about being lovable, worthy and acceptable. When I sat with that pain and cared for it, I found greater peace about my body, and slowly, slowly, was able to create a different relationship. It’s a way of thinking that’s become central to my own body image.
Would you like to listen to my 19 minute talk via iTunes podcast or download the mp3 to listen on your own or in the browser? Check a photo of the event, too?
- Login as a Friend of First Ourselves at http://members.firstourselves.com/
- Once you login, find it under the Free resources for a Healthy Body Image section.
- Not yet a member? Sign up as a Friend here for free.
I don’t think our “less than perfect part is what we love about each other.”
Although skinny, I recently obtained a lot of cellulite due to a trucking accident I cannot exercise.
I cannot stand looking at myself, much less having my husband see me, or anyone else.
I use to wear shorts. Not anymore.
I hate my body and will until the day I can get rid of this cellulite and get some tone back to this flabby body.