Comments for First Ourselves

Comment on How attachment can heal overeating. For good. by banjo

banjo — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 20:36:48 +0000

This entry is so beautiful. I’ve not been a member long here, but I have come back to it numerous times, and as I am becoming more aware of myself, I’ve taken more and more from the words here. It has such insight and I am really appreciating it.

Comment on Healing the shame that keeps you stuck by Jill

Jill — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 18:49:55 +0000

Karly, I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is so, so hard. This is a beautiful post and so important. When did we decide that running from pain was okay? Turning toward and taking care of our pain is such an intimate, healing thing – hard to learn but it reaps so many benefits!

Comment on The Need to Feel Wanted by Jill

Jill — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 18:39:51 +0000

One day as I was putting on my makeup, my 6 year old daughter asked me why I put on makeup. “I’ve done it since I was 15 years old” I told her. “But WHY do you have to wear it?”
I didn’t have a good answer for her. I mean really, why do I wear makeup every day? So I can look more acceptable to society? Yep – that’s exactly why. And it makes me mad that men don’t even moisturize, let alone put on a full face of cosmetics. And yet, I still do it every morning because I am not brave enough to buck society’s standards, and because I too, want to be wanted.
Thank you for sharing this – I imagine there’s a whole lot of us out there who feel the same way.

Comment on The Need to Feel Wanted by Karly Randolph Pitman

Karly Randolph Pitman — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 15:08:40 +0000

Dear Holly,

This is so beautiful and vulnerable and real.

How we all want to be loved, to be seen and valued and appreciated. You spoke eloquently about this, and how, as women, this becomes tied to our relationship with beauty and our bodies. That was certainly the case for me. For me, having a perfect body was like having a guarantee that I would always be seen, loved, appreciated, that no one would hurt me, abandon me, dislike me, reject me.

It was very disheartening for me to realize that perfection is not a guarantee against pain. Nothing is. And, in fact, that my pursuit of perfection only caused me pain, keeping me from the very love I sought – the unconditional love from myself.

Thank you for sharing and normalizing my experience.

In gratitude and admiration, Karly

Comment on Healing the shame that keeps you stuck by Aurélie

Aurélie — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 09:20:03 +0000

Hi Karly, thanks for sharing your “weakeness” and these powerful thoughts. I’m sorry for your kitty, I guess your kids are very sad too, and I’m sure she’d be glad and proud that you have talked about her. xx Aurélie

Comment on Healing the shame that keeps you stuck by G

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 23:36:33 +0000

Oh Karly, beautiful words. Pain used to be proof that something was wrong with me. I’m gently coming to, just as you said, a part of the human condition and not personal. Pain is also a teacher and an indicator when I’m holding on to false beliefs as true. I used to run from emotional pain as if it were a deadly snake, because I didn’t think I could handle it, and of course who could when you’ve turned it into a life-threatening monster out for my demise. I love being on this journey with you Karly, you articulate it so well. Thank you.

Comment on Healing the shame that keeps you stuck by AshRiver

AshRiver — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 23:07:20 +0000

kind hearted veil-less sponge taking on the world’s woes shadow brilliance one wrong move and ya lose trapeze artist never enough drawn to people that nourish the dynamic of “be what i need you to be – my perfect everything OR unlovable nothing” perfection OR abandon no room for humanity nothing in the middle … & so to betray the status quo of yesterday – to betray perfectionism and embrace the gray … to embrace my “messy humanity” – this, my friend, is what i consider “enlightenment” today – i hide away binge isolate and suffer alone – today, i let go of the “love” that demands i walk the tightrope in order to be lovable – i accept and embrace my messy beautiful humanity.

Comment on Jealous of Pretty Women? Turn Your Envy into Inspiration by Crissy

Crissy — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 12:01:54 +0000

I totally understand!! So glad to find your post. I have the most AMAZING love and support I have ever known and I’m still jealous and insecure. You don’t sound horrible by saying “people think your beautiful.” I get the same comments and it still is not enough for me. I always feel this want and need to be prettier or better. I have this feeling and thought I’m never good enough. Why? I can only assume it stems from childhood and teenage years. I get so anxious when im with my Fiance and I see a beautiful, sexy, woman that I know he will think is hot. It’s so bad I have even accused him of looking at woman that was in his vicinity and guess what he didn’t even know who I was talking about. Lol!! Talk about feeling like an a**! I don’t get it! I know the problem is within me though and I acknowledge I’m the only one that can change these insecurities. Atleast we recognize there’s a problem girl. Dont they say that’s the first step lol. I guess if I had 1 question to ask a man I would want to know why???? they have to look?? We see an attractive man and nothing crosses our minds, well those of us who are happy with our partners. I wish you the best and hope your situation is getting better

Comment on End emotional eating with kindness by Karly Randolph Pitman

Karly Randolph Pitman — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 08:56:21 +0000

Kathy,

I find your journey so inspiring.

These words spoke to me – “Scared of putting down the sugar and tackling some tasks that I believe are too difficult to tackle without comfort of food at my side.”

Wow, i believe we all can relate to that. So well said.

Thank you for being so open ahd honest about your journey. Yes, feeling our feelings and accepting them (without necessarily believing what they’re saying!) is the healing journey for me, too. It is easy to write about….not so easy to experience

And yet each time I do, my courage grows. I realize, “I can handle this.” I may not like it, but I can handle it.

We are all in process!

In gratitude for you, Karly

Comment on End emotional eating with kindness by Karly Randolph Pitman

Karly Randolph Pitman — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 08:38:13 +0000

You are so welcome Carolyn.

Reading your words was nourishing to me, as I need to be reminded that life is imperfect. Yes, sometimes this feels too much to bear. Knowing we’re not alone helps me feel lonely in my heart tonight.

I feel nourished and inspired by your words.

In love and care, Karly