I was just traveling, visiting family in Ohio. Normally when I travel, I plan extensively in advance: cooking and packing food to take with me, searching for gyms, scoping out the health food stores in the area.
Preparation has its value. But my approach to preparation was couched in fear – a reaction against some imagined foe, the many barriers that would come between me and my needs; between me and my self-care. My anxiety would work my thoughts into a tizzy: What if I don’t get enough sleep? Enough time to exercise? How will I find healthy food? I know there’s so much junk at family gatherings. And on and on and on…
With this mindset, you can imagine how my visit would play out. I would find it hard to sleep, to exercise, to eat healthy food. I would feel frantic and stressed out and like the world was conspiring against me. I’d be in a panic, “I never get what I need!” Which would lead to overwhelm, stress and a challenging vacation – for me and my family.
This time I tried a different tactic. I traveled with the expectation that I would get what I needed. That I would have a relaxing, joyful time. That I would find healthy foods to eat, a way to exercise, and rest even though I was away from home and my normal routines.
I let go of rigidity, fear, and a beautiful thing happened: I got what I needed. I got what I needed by opening to the idea that there are a million different ways to feel held, to feel loved, to feel safe.
I ate fresh tomatoes and raspberries straight from my parent’s garden. I found a bounty of delicious salads and fresh fruits and veggies – even at the airport. I savored the stuffed cabbage at my cousin’s graduation party (a poignant reminder of every wedding and family event I had attended as a child.) I even got a coupon for a free Greek style yogurt – an unexpected treat at the grocery store. I took several long walks with my sister-in-law and her dogs, treasuring the opportunity to connect with her on an intimate level.
I spent hours laughing at old family stories, playing cards or Scrabble. I slept soundly and restfully every night – even with a full house of guests. I sang with my uncle to Lady Gaga and smile every time I hear “our song.” I even enjoyed the time I spent working with my mom, aunts and cousins prepping for the graduation party.
If I would’ve arrived in Ohio with a rigid mindset, of demanding, “I need this, and this, and this and this…” I would’ve missed the many gifts that came my way. If I would’ve insisted that I find a gym versus walking with my sister-in-law, I wouldn’t have had those precious hours with her. If I would’ve been adamant about bringing my own food, I wouldn’t have enjoyed the fresh garden produce and stuffed cabbage. If I would’ve been insistent on keeping to my schedule, then I wouldn’t have had that precious afternoon with my grandparents or the camaraderie of preparing for a large party with my female clan.
I am grateful that I let go of the reins and received….love.
I know what I need to feel good – the grounding I teach in growing human(kind)ness. You do, too. Here’s where we get stuck: Instead of tapping into the essence of our need, something that can be met in a multitude of ways, we become fixated on meeting that need in one, fixed rigid scenario. And when we do, we make our lives very small. We make our options narrow, and limited, and miss out on the opportunity to expand our horizons, to breathe and grow and trust in life’s bounty.
What about you? How can you expand the essence of what you need to include the myriad ways life blesses us with wonder?
How can you let go of the reins and trust, trust, trust that the universe is friendly, that God knows your needs, and that all of life is conspiring to meet them, if we only open our eyes and see? Oh, belovd, you are held by something that loves you completely. Can you believe, as Rilke said, “That life holds you in its hands and will. not. let you fall.” To that, I would never, ever, ever, ever.
Hi Karly, thanks for this article. It’s nice to read someone else’s perspective on Trust and Letting Go, as it’s what I write about (pretty much exclusively). It’s comforting to know that like-minded people exist and are seeking to Trust. Thanks again, Leslie
Hi Leslie,
I feel comforted and delighted to meet a kindred spirit and I feel so happy that you introduced yourself. I love your blog title – Trust Life. That’s a big part of the journey for me – with food and living in general. To trust, trust, trust that everything is unfolding exactly as it should. Easy to write about, more challenging for me to do
You inspire me! Thank you for reaching out, and please keep in touch.
XO, Karly
Thanks for the reminder!
…TRUST is always available to us but forgotten so much that it’s like a veil between us that needs to be constantly ripped away so we can see it again. Oh, do I ever need to TRUST!!!
Cheryl, I hear you. And I get it. Trust is huge, huge, huge. The whole idea of Trust and Letting Go are something I feel so much passion around, I dedicate my entire website to them. I’d love you to check out my articles on Trust and give me your two cents. A new, fresh perspective is greatly welcomed. Love, Leslie
Thanks for sharing your experiences to help us. I am going away July 4th and will face similiar challenges with food, exercise and fear. This article has helped me to begin to change and open my mindset.
Hi everyone,
Thank you for the kind words and encouragement! Sherry, I hope you have a wonderful graduation party with your son.
My anxiety was high this morning in anticipating an upcoming life transition, so rereading this soothed me this morning!
My mantra is, “I have what I need. I have what I need. I have what I need. I trust that a solution will present itself.”
May we all feel that we have what we need.
XO, Karly
Dearest Karly,
How precious this was!! You cannot know how I needed it right at this moment. I’m so grateful!
Hello Karly,
I wanted to thank you for such a beautiful story. I have been just coming to the awareness that what God brings to me is far better than what I try to manufacture for myself. Letting go of the reins and letting whatever happens to happen without my running away in fear or angry because of not getting what I want when I want it. Even people are not going to behave the way you want them to! I applaude you for the courage it takes to be honest and to face your addictions and overcome them every day.
Kimberly
This is absolutely beautifully written – can you get this in Oprah magazine!
Congratulations again on all of the wonderful words you write – you can truly feel your harmonious and inspiring intention.
Your words really help to bring out the shine in everyone who reads them.
Take lots of sparkling care
Jacqui
Karly,
I love this article! It is so true … sounds like you had an amazing trip!
I love your writing and look forward to the next one!
Thank you for your wonderful insight and wisdom. I also need to let go of rigid expectations, especially with family. Hopefully, I can apply your knowledge and approach this weekend as I prepare for my son’s graduation and family celebration. You are a blessing!
This is wonderful Karly! I’m so glad you got to experience this time with your family in a relaxed and happy way.