Guest author Melissa B. is working through a self-paced audio program and workbook to heal addictive behaviors with food, especially sugar.
Before tossing cookies or power bars in my shopping cart, I’ve started ask myself, “Do you really want that?”
“You can have it if you really want it, but think about it first,” goes my inner dialogue.
Often I put the items back and feel better having done so – like being able to leave the store without the guilt of how many treats account for the grocery total. I know I’m sugar sensitive, and while I’m not ready to be sugar abstinate, this is an example of the small changes occurring in my life.
One audio session starts with the serenity prayer. That’s really the heart of acceptance – having serenity about life and knowing what I can change and accepting what I have no control over. That in itself is a huge life lesson!
In thinking about acceptance some more, I wonder if it’s possible to experience different “levels” of acceptance?
- Can I come to an intellectual acceptance of my sugar sensitivity without an emotional one?
- Can I accept this condition mentally, but not at the deeper level that requires action?
- And if so, is it really acceptance or just intellectual awareness?
Karly has said that acceptance involves 3 things: 1) supporting myself; 2) feeling the feelings of loss; and 3) honoring the limit with appropriate boundaries. If that’s true, then I think the answer to my questions above is no.
My intellectual awareness is just that, it’s the place where the journey to acceptance begins. I see there needs to be an awareness of the problem before the deeper work of reflection and processing can take place. So it’s not something to be discounted, but a valuable part of the process.
And that’s what it is, after all, a process. I’m accepting that having compassion for myself and seeking to understand my behavior will lead to a better outcome in the long run.
Melissa also writes about how denying her needs kept her stuck in food.
Melissa, I want to affirm what a powerful shift you made, from “I shouldn’t eat that” to “you can eat that if you truly want it – but do you really want it?”
The change may seem minute, but it reflects an internal shift – a compassion, understanding and deep listening to your needs. In that space of compassion, as you wrote, more often than not, you’re able to recognize that food isn’t what you’re truly needing, and are able to put the items back on the shelf.
What a victory! Thank you for sharing.
Much love, Karly