I had an experience the other day I feel is worth sharing with all of you, as it could be part of the sugar issue for many people, and is for me, and it has to do with the spleen.
I have been struggling with many things, and have had encounters with a number of individuals that have been very aggravating and beyond my control, like a disappointment in a work project I was very hopeful about that got changed without my input, a friendship that is extremely challenging to tell the truth in, a frustrating lover that I had to let go of even though there was an amazing physical connection to name a few.
In all of these cases I felt out of control upset and angry. I needed to vent, but did not know how to do that in a positive way, or, for one reason or another, it was not wise to directly confront the people. Thus, cravings for sugar arose.
I felt like I could not get a deep breath, and I began to yawn, and yawn and could not feel that complete breath/yawn. Then some strong sounds came out, like wailing, and I went with it, and it kept up for about 45 minutes, until I felt a sense of relaxation. I looked up yawning on the Internet and found a connection to the spleen. I was reminded of something I discovered years ago, the spleen’s importance.
The spleen is about venting our feelings, the spleen is nourished by sweet foods, like carrots and pumpkin, the spleen is about touch and nurturing and nourishment. The spleen is about being able to assimilate our food, and our life. It is about feeling mothered, loved.
When the spleen is out of balance, I think we go for the sugar, when we are not being touched, nourished, or allowed to vent our feelings, our spleen energy is off. I feel this is an important key worth exploring in the quest to release the physical and emotional aspects of sugar addiction.
People with food issues often want to do cleansing, eat mostly raw food, or spiritualize food (I am one of those!) The spleen is imbalanced by many of the damp, cooling foods, like lettuce and avavocado and apples, while it likes warmth and nurturing foods.
When I was a little girl, my father was very harsh and abusive at times, especially when it came to my breaking his “rules.” I was never allowed to vent or share my feelings in a healthy way. In the “new age” community, people talk so much about peace and love and self responsibility, often we are not really allowed to vent our hurts and angers and feelings of injustice. We are called judgmental and we are, in a much more passive way, silenced from sharing.
I realize that venting the spleen, in a positive and powerful way, allowing our feelings to emerge is so important, as well as nourishing the spleen with the proper foods, exercise, etc.
I work with the Sacred Feminine, called Goddess or Mother by many. I feel that allowing the True Feminine essence to emerge in her strength and radiance is so important to our healing. To learn how to Mother ourselves in a healthy way, rather than in the way many of us were.
I have often thought that in my life, I worshipped the chocolate chip cookie goddess and asked her to soothe all my woes! But there is such a richer, deeper wonderful way to soothe, when we connect with our Sacred Feminine!
Beautiful writing and sharing. Such wonderful weaving of how our lives and even the seemingly mundane aspects can lead us deeper spiritually and emotionally. In my first book, “Relationships from Addiction to Authenticity” I discuss my own eating disorder and how I could not feel certain emotions and would eat to avoid and medicate them. When I first connected to being angry and not hungry, as I was frantically scanning what I could eat in the refrigerator, it was a powerful “AHA” experience for me. I realized that anger helped me to set boundaries and care well for myself and all of my emotions are necessary as I embrace them and find the gift within. It all begins with going inside for answers. Here is a simple quote from Blessings From Mary dated October 25th:
“Go within for purpose and guidance”
Wisdom of Mary Magdalene
Thank you for this reminder.
Blessings,
Sally
Hi Sally, I must look at your book, it sounds wonderful. I love what you have written, it is so important for us to be in touch with our anger and express what we are feeling in a healthy way. Being angry at injustice, at abuse, etc. is important because once we get through the anger, we can then become pro-active and do something about making positive changes. If we always push down and medicate with something, as so many people are doing these days, no one takes a stand to really do something to change things…perhaps that is why so much addiction is actually condoned and supported by the government, because they know if we are addicted, we are less effective in taking back our power!
we are all helping each other, thank you for your inspiration.
blessings of the Mother to you
Rhianne
Hi sally, I read more about you, would love to connect. check out my site at http://www.rhiannenewlahnd.com and see the new game honoring the Sacred Feminine I have created…
Rhianne
Hi Karly,
I love what you wrote SO true. I have no children of my own, but can so relate to what you are saying when I think of my own situation growing up, where I was not aloud to express so much of what I felt, though my father felt free to yell, scream, hit, punish, whatever he desired, talk about building resentment! Certainly it was the opposite of what you and Elle have tried to do by being only “positive”.
I learned a definition of Neurotic is “when you want things to be different than they are and can not accept it the way it is”.
I struggle with this, and I feel that, being people like us who are visionaries, struggle with wanting to bring about change, and also being able to accept what is..
a delicate balance that requires a very powerful level of love and compassion!
I wrote a post on my blog today that some may find inspiring or helpful, it is at http://www.rhiannenewlahnd.com under the heading blog…
blessings to all
Rhianne
Beautiful. I love when the physical/emotional connection is explained in such a clear way. Thank you!
thanks kelly, it is all so woven together, and we can address one area with all our heart, and if other areas are ignored, our efforts do not bare the fruit we are cultivating… may we all move foward into our brilliance and beauty. thanks to Karly for being such a great example for us all.
I really connected to Rhianne’s comment on how it’s difficult to express anger and to vent hurts in the New Age philosophy. It’s an important point. I found myself practicing this with my children. I want so much to instill in them the truth that love is the answer, and will heal the world. I sometimes make it very hard for them to experience anger. I’m learning how essential it is not to push it away or stuff it down. I am also learning that we all chose how to experience it. I chose to allow those feelings to surface and I chose to respond in a loving and healthful way. In this way, I am being a role model to my kids.
Thank you Rhianne and Karly for your beautiful lessons.
Love always, Elle G:)
p.s. I don’t always get it right but I’ll never stop trying!
Dear Elle,
thanks so much for sharing this! I think that the passivity of people has gotten the world into a lot of trouble. I felt angry yesterday when I wanted strawberries and realized that to get a little box of organic ones, would cost me almost five dollars, but for half of that I could get a box that were filled with toxic pesticides! Perhaps if we got angry about things, we would move into action, and action is needed now.
It might seem easier to eat a pint of icecream and just move on, but this only brings a temporary comfort, and certainly does not produce anything constructive in the way of change. I have some friends who have a wonderful relationship, and have been together for about twenty -five years. They have developed a way of venting, they each get the opportunity to vent anything, and the other protects themselves energetically and does not take things personally. But each one gets to say everything they are feeling without begin judged. I sure wish I had someone in my life to do that with!
anyway, this is a powerful and important topic…
and your children are lucky to have such a caring mother
in sisterhood
Rhianne
Hi Elle,
Oh, are we kindred spirits. I can relate 100% to what you wrote! For years, I thought that a healthy, nurturing family was one where peace, love and happiness was always present. I then parented to try and meet those goals. How humbling for me to learn that trying to control the environment where no conflict or disappointment ever occurred (who me – controlling?!) was actually damaging my children, not helping them. Yee-ouch.
I also did this internally with myself – I could never have a “negative” thought or feeling. It was always about rising above them, finding the higher thought, letting it go. This is another way to say denial. Another yee-ouch.
I’ve been studying the work of Dr. Gordon Neufeld, a child development specialist, and he talks about how emotions are the “essential ingredient of maturation.” He stresses the importance of letting our children experience all of their feelings – in particular, to go from mad to sad – as this is what literally matures the brain. It’s also essential for us.
I’ve been learning that it’s not about controlling life, food, or my feelings, but creating internal resilience to accept life on its own terms (accepting what we can’t change) so we can change what we can. I wrote more about this here: http://www.firstourselves.org/2011/weight-loss-secret/
You may find Dr. Neufeld’s work helpful – it’s been life changing for me. You can learn more here: http://www.holdontoyourkids.com/
XO, Karly
Dear Rhianne,
An interesting perspective indeed. I have forwarded your thoughts to others who struggle with not being able to stop eating refined carbs and sugar.
I experience the femine aspect /goddess as receptive and mysterious. Finding the voice of that part is challenging and I had not linked with abandoning or supressing this connection with the cravings that can consume, consume the destiny and the life.
Keeping the liver unstressed, so the the pancreas is not having to do part of its work, is another aspect I have found crucial ito keeping balance and wellbeing of our health
Thank you for the thought provoking thoughts
Allison
Dear Allison,
I am glad this has proven to be helpful, it is something that I am certain is connected to the global issues at hand, and our own smaller personal cravings.
Developing a relaitonship with the feinine has been my focus and devotion for twenty five years, and it is mysterious and deep, but so rewarding, beautiful and unlike any other…
Let me know if there is anything else that you hear or think about this, or any way that I can support you as we all journey forward..
Rhianne
Hi Rhianne,
Thank you for this powerful article. I can relate and I nodded along while reading your article. Our tendency is to push away difficult or negative feelings – whether it’s in our families or even in our spiritual communities, as you astutely point out here. That’s because they’re uncomfortable! And yet as Brene Brown reminds us, when we cut ourselves off from difficult feelings, we cut ourselves off from the richness of “good” feelings, too.
So much of the inner work to heal from food addiction, I’ve found, is to integrate all parts of ourselves – good and bad, shadow and light, strengths and weaknesses – and all parts of life. When we can be fully imperfect, fully human, and fully whole – and loved – we are at rest. We’re also fully *alive!*
For those who want to learn more about the spleen, Rhianne shared this article for further study: http://www.meridianpress.net/spleen.html
And here’s more on Brene Brown: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0
XO, Karly