How has your body changed since motherhood?

The Shape of a Mother, the brainchild of Bonnie Crowder, is a forum where women share photos of themselves before, during, and after pregnancy so they can see real women’s bodies and find greater love for them.

Here’s more about Bonnie’s story of learning to love her body, both before and after motherhood:

1. What’s your body story? Have you always loved your body, or is it something that has evolved over time?

I have never loved my body.  Even as young as 8 I can remember sucking in my stomach and thinking I looked fat when I was definitely not.  When I was in high school, I was mortally embarrassed to find out I weighed 160 pounds even though I looked great (looking back, that is) – I had no idea that could very well be a normal weight for a women – I was under the impression that anything above 130 was too fat, even if I was 5’9″.

After I started learning about healthy living I tried hard to love my body for what she did for me every day, but it was a struggle because of what she looked like on the outside.  The only thing that has come close to healing me is this website.  Daily I see women of all sizes and shapes and it’s become so much more normal to my mind that I hate my body less and less.  I still have a road to travel before I can say I love my body, but I definitely don’t despise it anymore.

2. How have you learned to love your body?

I’ve already partly answered this, but the whole story is that I keep reminding myself of all the awesome things my body does.  My heart beats and is healthy.  My legs are strong and walk me wherever I need to go.  My breasts nourished and comforted two children.  My ears hear well, my eyes have perfect vision.  I repeat this to myself whenever I need to remember to love myself.

3. What was your biggest hurdle in loving your body?

Being overweight and struggling with it.  I know how to make healthy choices for my body, but it’s definitely a struggle to do it on a regular basis mainly for emotional reasons, but also for practical ones (i.e. doing an exercise video with two kids definitely presents it’s challenges!).

4. How has your view of your body changed over the years? Are you gentler, or harder on yourself?

Much gentler now.  I cannot help but wonder what I would look like today if I had never been overweight to begin with, but what difference does it make now?  Maybe I’d look different, maybe not.  But my body functions (does more than that!  It creates life!) and I am blessed.

5. How has being a mother changed your view of your body?

I can’t complain about how I look anymore or little ears will get the wrong idea.    It’s kept me very aware of how much verbal abuse I used to inflict upon myself (“Ugh, I’m so fat!”)  It’s not allowed anymore and when you stop hearing it, you tend to stop thinking it.

6. What response have you gotten to The Shape of a Mother?

An amazing response.  I feel it’s blessed many women and I get teary any time I get an e-mail or comment telling me how relieved they feel to discover that they aren’t alone.

7. What makes you feel beautiful? How do you care for yourself?

I find that making a point to wear jewelry I find beautiful makes me feel beautiful.  I decorate my fingers and toes in rings.  I wear bracelets and necklaces.  It makes me feel like a princess, maybe.  A grown-up version of dress-up.  I don’t wear makeup because the feeling bothers me, but I do like a little perfume.  I’ve discovered that dressing myself up – especially on a bad day – makes me feel better in general.

8. What do you love about your body?

Aside from the physical aspect I’ve already discussed, I like the shape.  I don’t have a lot of curves in my hips or bottom and I like the look, even if it isn’t the traditional hourglass figure (perhaps especially because it’s not the traditional hourglass figure?).  I like my breasts and my eyes.  I think I have a nice nose and my feet are lovely.  Most recently I’ve been working on not hiding my arms even if they are fat. I have far to go, but I find more and more of me that’s quite lovely after all.

I invite you to explore The Shape of a Mother, and even submit your own photographs or story. How do you love your post-baby body?

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