“I will not make war against my own heart.” – Karly Randolph Pitman
Welcome to First Ourselves. I’m, Karly, the founder and primary blogger, and I feel glad we’ve found each other. If you’re struggling with eating disorders, weight/body obsession, anxiety, or depression – or the shame of struggling with any of the above – there’s hope.
First Ourselves is a blog I created in 2006 to share my journey of healing 20 years of eating disorders – including bulimia, binge eating disorder, sugar addiction, compulsive overeating, orthorexia, and body hatred – and my lifelong challenges with depression, anxiety and ADD.
Underneath all of this pain was confusion, self doubt, and insecurity about my being a highly sensitive, intuitive, empathic woman. For years, I cared for these feelings by trying to be perfect – spiritually perfect, physically perfect, and emotionally perfect.
Fortunately, that quest for self perfection failed. (You can read more about my personal journey here.)
First Ourselves is a chronicle of this journey – and of the practices that have helped me find healing. These practices include self compassion, unconditional self love, self acceptance, befriending needs and feelings, and caring for my sensitivity rather than shaming myself for it.
Growing human(kind)ness, a way out of suffering
I synthesized these tools into an approach I call growing human(kind)ness. Growing human(kind)ness is a map for healing the emotional roots of eating disorders and addiction. It helps you create a compassionate, loving relationship with every part of you – your emotions, thoughts, needs, feelings and your pain itself.
This relationship – an inner change - is the foundation for behavior change – how you change on the outside. A self loving relationship is also what brings your heart to the deepest rest - the rest of knowing your own worthiness, loveability and “enoughness.” I believe that this “enoughness” is what we most deeply crave, and most need.
To use Brene Brown’s words, I’m both a mapmaker and a fellow traveler. I share these tools with you because I want you to feel their healing power in your own life. And I share them because they’re absolutely what I need to learn and practice in my own life.
What First Ourselves means
The hand on heart symbolizes the mercy and compassion of unconditional self love – for only as we love ourselves can we fully love others, and love life.
How my approach can help you
There are many experts who talk about the physiological, biological, and neurological components of addiction and eating disorders. You can also find doctors and nutritionists who specialize in the “how to” of nutrition – what to eat, how to eat, how to heal and nourish the body, and more.
I love learning from these experts and have gobbled up their knowledge. I’ve incorporated many of their teachings into my own life – everything from fermented foods, to bone broths, to amino acid supplementation, to healing the gut, to yoga, to meditation, to proper fat and protein intake, to reducing sugar, to 5 element nutrition, and more.
But this is not my focus. What I offer – and what I see as a missing piece of the puzzle – is healing how you relate to your body, food, your addictions, compulsions, and your very imperfect, tender human self. In my experience, this loving relatedness is what heals the emotional, relational roots of our suffering.
By changing how we relate, we can change how we respond. Emotional healing is the scaffolding for physiological healing – it’s how we shift out of painful habits, change our ways of living, and change our behavior to be more empowered and self loving.
Many people find healing and “success” by pairing my inside out, emotionally focused approach with a structured, physiological approach – like Julia Ross’ or Kathleen des Maison’s work – or a structured weight loss plan like Weight Watchers. Think of my work as a complement to physiological healing, one tool on your healing path. This is how I serve and support you best.
What you can find on Firstourselves.org
Here’s where you can get started and learn more about what I offer:
- Sign up for my free weekly newsletter
- Join the free forum
- Read the blog
- Listen to my free podcasts
- Read praise for First Ourselves
- Contact me
- Connect with me on Facebook
- Learn more about me on my personal website – karlyrandolphpitman.com
- Read my posts on The Daily Love, where I’m a contributing author
- Find my books on Amazon
- Find my books on Goodreads
- For media inquiries, please go here.
The mission and intention of First Ourselves
First Ourselves exists to create a sacred space where we heal and grow from eating disorders and addiction. Together.
By joining together, we create something more powerful than what we create on our own. By having group and individual support, we feel seen, heard, understood, validated, cared for, and nourished.
From this space of connection, care and belonging, we can arise out of the illusion that we’re separate and alone. We can find the strength to heal and grow out of painful addictions and compulsions.
We can shift the painful beliefs that have caused us pain – beliefs that say we’re too sensitive, too fragile, too much, not enough, too weird, at fault, shameful, separate, ashamed – and write a new story.
And then live it. Embody it.
Be it. In all ways.
Where First Ourselves has been featured
First Ourselves has been featured on Yahoo!, Yahoo! Shine, MSN, Beliefnet, The Huffington Post, ABC, KGO, Inspire Me Today, Life by Me, the Livin’ La Vida Low Carb Show, top blogs like The Happiness Project and Zen Habits, and more. First Ourselves has been visited by over 1 million women in over 190 countries.